Been going out recently with some teachers I work with, mostly Katherine and Steven, who are quite different but both quite fun. I forgot, living in Iowa, that I rather enjoy staying out until 2, 3, 4 in the morning. That one time we stayed out until 7:30am was a bit much, but it happens.
We generally spend a portion of the night at C:Union bar, which is one place in Guangzhou for decent live music on a regular basis. Anyway, we were there this weekend, hanging out on the sidewalk outside and chatting with a group of drunk Chinese boys.
“Tell me,” slurred one, “tell me about culture in America.” Which is an incredibly broad question, so I answered in broad generalities. “No, no,” he interrupts, “tell me about… sex in America. Dating. Like in the movies. Very different than in China. Here, you cannot date and then you must marry.” So I said, yes that’s true, dating and attitudes about sex and marriage are quite different in the States than in China. Then he asked me what kind of boys I like and how many boyfriends I’ve had and I just laughed and told him I don’t like boys. He consulted quickly with his friend who observed quietly “[somethingsomething] ta shi lala”. I laughed, and agreed “Dui! Wo shi lala!” “Lala” is Cantonese slang for lesbian. I think they were delighted/embarrassed with my extremely limited knowledge of Cantonese.
I’m not particularly bothered by people questioning my sexuality. The boy at the club (who was 22) just reminds though how I find young Chinese strangely naÔve. My students, for example, are generally well behaved, and are very future-oriented, and are boarding students so they’re very self-reliant for only being fifteen. Yet at the same time, they never make any real decisions for themselves (the school plans their whole day morning til night, and usually their parents have planned their whole lives) and they aren’t allowed to date and they have really innocent ideas of love and marriage, especially compared to the kinds of teenagers I’m used to. I find them more mature and yet also much more immature than I was at their age.
